Its been a while since my last post. My life seems has not been moving anywhere. Living and helping my parents in their small hardware shop and feeling miserable. Some people say that God will not give us a challenge beyond our limit, I hope its true as I have no more strength to carry on with this condition.
Daily, I set my alarm at 6.30 am, but really I will be wide awake only at 8am...Waking up sometimes feeling useless and little motivation, deeply I know that I have to be strong for myself. I worked with my parents for almost 2 years now and the last 1 year almost unpaid except for the transfer in Jan 13. The reason the transfer stopped, my mom thinks that I use the money for someone else. Its my money its my right? Or her right to make her daughter miserable? 2 years ago I gave up my job who can support me well to return to my hometown to help their business. Did not turn out too good, they are angry with me for dating someone that they dont like.
The truth about marriage in Indonesia, especially Chinese traditional family is still about the parents preference rather than the daughter's true happiness. They still believe in "SIFU" who can predict other people lives and sometimes come close to ruining the mother-daughter relationship. To make it worse, we need lots of paper work from the local council and also letter of approval from parents to get marriage.
My parents repeatedly mentioned that they will dis-own me if I choose to marry this man that I love. Shattered between my parents and boyfriend, often ending up shedding tears and having panda eyes in the morning >< Few uncles has tried to open up my parents close minded brain, yet they have no respond.
One word...I tried to go on but I am too tired to fight on :(
